If you only focus on the problem,
you might miss
the easy solution.
The work of raising a resourceful adult takes time, but it begins with a simple equation. We need to give our children autonomy, allow them to feel competent, and let them know we support them as they grow. This process begins the moment our babies fail to grasp a toy or fall as they toddle across the room and continues until they head out into their own lives.
“Marianna’s grades are fine; I’m not worried about that, but she just doesn’t seem to love learning anymore.” Above all else, we taught her to fear failure. That fear is what has destroyed her love of learning. [...] The truth—for this parent and so many others—is this: Her child has sacrificed her natural curiosity and love of learning at the altar of achievement, and it’s our fault. Marianna’s parents, her teachers, society at large—we are all implicated in this crime against learning. From her first day of school, we pointed her toward that altar and trained her to measure her progress by means of points, scores, and awards. [...] We taught her to protect her academic and extracurricular perfection at all costs and that it’s better to quit when things get challenging rather than risk marring that perfect record. Above all else, we taught her to fear failure. That fear is what has destroyed her love of learning.