Mistakes provide the next lesson.
Looking for an image to use, I remembered a great one that Magistra Susan had found at Cheezburger. So, I made a poster with that one:
Conabor rursus cras.
I will try again tomorrow.
If this is the first time you've heard the term "self-compassion," it's important to clarify it's not about believing you're perfect or being complacent. It's about treating yourself as a great coach would--with realistic, flexible expectations that encourage growth--but also with kindness and the understanding that you're an imperfect human being who's programmed for learning as you go, not a robot programmed for perfection.
There’s one debilitating behavior that most of us fall victim to with great regularity: listening to critical voices in our heads. Whether they originate from external criticism or our own fears and doubts, these negative voices tell us we’re not good enough, kind enough, or productive enough. Research shows that echoing negative thoughts inside our heads increases our chances of depression, isolates us from others, and inhibits us from pursuing goals.
I heard a banking executive say, "Yeah, when I’m in a crunch. I have a deadline. Dwayne shows up." This is what Dwayne does, and how Dwayne makes me feel. This is how Dwayne effects people around me. Then the final step is talk to Dwayne. Get Dwayne on board with your growth-mind-set goals. Don’t try to get rid of Dwayne. Don’t disrespect him, but whatever you name your fixed-mind-set persona, say, "Thank you for your input." Or, "I appreciate your contribution, but why don’t we try it this way? Why don’t we take on that challenge?" There’s a setback, Dwayne comes rushing back, laughing at you. You say, "OK, that’s one way to look at it, but I think I learned something from that setback. What if we try this other strategy? Dwayne, you think you can bear with me on that?"
I’ve learned that great feedback creates a roadmap for students; it shows them how far they can go in the mastery of a subject or skill by outlining specific places for improvement or highlighting successful behaviors/techniques. Great feedback pushes students to achieve more and it’s specific in helping them do so.