Can't be done?
That's your limitation, not mine!
(image from cheezburger)
I was inspired by this graphic that I found a Twitter:
When someone tells you it can't be done, it's more a reflection of their limitations, not yours.
The work grows as our minds (conscious and unconscious) and our bodies would have it grow. Technique may require discipline and set the order of things, apprenticeships may demand periods of subordination, but the imaginative acts that propel the effort are themselves serendipitous. In your garden you may set out to clip the roses, but you notice a weed you want to pull from among the coreopsis, except that first there is a rogue branch to be snipped from the holly shrub—and on and on until dark finally settles, ending your day. An occasional task has to be done just now and just so. But mostly, you delight in meandering, allowing the work to command your attention variously — with its method inscribed by the way you encounter your plants.And if you are curious about that wonderful word "meander," check out Wikipedia: Meander (Rivers).
A colleague of mine in Australia named Susan Mackie identifies this idea of finding your mind-set triggers. First of all, to say we’re all a mixture. Anyway, who says, "I’ve always had a growth mind-set. I have a total growth mind-set. I have a growth mind-set all the time."? False. We’re all a mixture. We all have triggers, things that put us into more of fixed mind-set and make us anxious about our abilities or worried about struggling. It could be a certain area, but it could be whenever we have setbacks. Many people have episodes. Identify those triggers. Start noticing how you feel, and think when your fixed mind-set is triggered.
Then Susan Mackie said -- and I saw her working with banking executives doing this -- "give your fixed mind-set persona a name." I heard a banking executive say, "Yeah, when I’m in a crunch. I have a deadline. Dwayne shows up." This is what Dwayne does, and how Dwayne makes me feel. This is how Dwayne effects people around me. Then the final step is talk to Dwayne. Get Dwayne on board with your growth-mind-set goals. Don’t try to get rid of Dwayne. Don’t disrespect him, but whatever you name your fixed-mind-set persona, say, "Thank you for your input." Or, "I appreciate your contribution, but why don’t we try it this way? Why don’t we take on that challenge?" There’s a setback, Dwayne comes rushing back, laughing at you. You say, "OK, that’s one way to look at it, but I think I learned something from that setback. What if we try this other strategy? Dwayne, you think you can bear with me on that?"Help your "inner Dwayne" to grow! I think I will call my fixed-mindset self by the name of... Alice. Inspired by Alice in Wonderland. Alice learns how to confront her fears and grow (literally grow, in fact!) during her adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, but sometimes she gets stuck in her thinking too. I will talk to myself as Alice when I get stuck in my own fixed mindset!